Learn

What is violence?

An act of male aggression, physical, psychological or emotional, which attempts to hurt or control its intended victim, is considered violence against women. It is not necessary to be married to an abuser or victim, because at least 1 in 9 women report violence in dating relationships.

Abuse is:

Abuse is when someone uses their power as a parent, spouse, lover, friend, care-giver, brother or sister to control you and/or….

  • Slaps, punches or kicks
  • Threatens to hurt, or threatens in any way
  • Forces unwanted sex
  • Controls money
  • Makes it difficult to see friends
  • Puts you down all the time
  • Uses hurtful names
  • Is always right and cannot be contradicted
  • Is frightening and unpredictable
  • Is jealous and suspicious
  • In any way makes you feel that you have no control

As women, we often feel that what is happening is our fault. It’s not. Don’t let this feeling prevent you from reaching out for help/support.

Who Abuses?

  • Males of all ages, religions, faces, incomes and levels of education
  • Males who feel they have a right to control their partners
  • 10% of all males will assault their partner this year. 40% will do so in their lifetime
  • Males who abuse are not crazy
  • Males who abuse often come from abusive homes
  • Males who do not know how to express their feelings

Checklist

Safety plan before the next outburst:

  • Inform neighbours, friends and family that you can trust about the abuse
  • When arguing avoid the kitchen area
  • Teach the children how to call 911
  • Locate all possible escape routes
  • Establish a safety plan with the children
  • Have a safe place to go – day or night
  • Start your own bank account
  • If you’ve been abused before make sure the police are fully aware of the situation
  • Call a Transition House and talk to the staff

Pack a bag with the following items and leave it in a safe place or with neighbours:

  • Extra change of clothing for each person
  • Keep extra cash, quarters, credit cards, bank cards and telephone numbers in a safe box
  • Take one special article for each child when you leave
  • Medication and prescriptions

Take originals of the following items with you: (if applicable)

  • Birth Certificates
  • Status Card
  • Medicare Card
  • Social Insurance Card
  • Custody Agreements
  • Passports
  • Divorce or Separation Agreements
  • Lease or Mortgage Papers
  • Restraining Order or Peace Bond
  • Driver’s License & Registration
  • Insurance Papers
  • Bank Book
  • Address Book